As I walk through the supermarket aisles hunter-gathering my weekly shop, I often find myself in the children's section, looking to find a replacement for whatever my three year old son Dylan has decided to stash away and hide behind whichever piece of furniture is in favour that week. Tooth brushes have been popular of late and we are now up to at least six of them missing in action. I suppose when I find them I may be able to save a little on my shopping but hopefully will also find my wedding ring which I'm sure I left on the sink in the bathroom while washing my hands a few months ago? I'm one of those tidy people you see. Neat. Clean. Organized. A place for everything and everything in its place as the saying goes.
Having a three year old son and another one a little under nine months, as you might imagine, sort of messes with my shit. If you have experience of this I'm sure you can and do empathise with me given that the little fuckers have absolutely no concept of what my needs are in this department. Nil. Zilch. Zero. And until they are at least eighteen or so, they will continue to have a complete lack of understanding of the concept of order. Now I accept this (fact) through gritted teeth and barring the occasional middle aged male hissy-fit about food stained soft furnishings or cave painting like crayon art work on the living room wall, I accept it. Sort of.
We cannot live without food. This is accepted. And despite the recent trend for food replacement or rather meal replacement drinks on the market, it is still accepted by the general populous that few people would want to live without food as we know it. It's a pleasurable experience to eat and for many people such as myself, a really really pleasurable experience. And given that I feel like this about tasty, wholesome and nutritious food, it is important to me (and my wife) that our children feel the same. Freshly cooked and healthy meals prepared from scratch are such an important element of our lives and we want it to be the norm for our kids. We would also like them to know what an aubergine is, what a bulb of fennel looks and smells like and where milk actually comes from, as so much food is presented in plastic nowadays.
When problems arise in our everyday lives, being at the top of the food chain, the modern human can adapt well and use their highly developed faculties to overcome them, thus achieving a suitable outcome. So when Dylan's meal times became increasingly difficult, action had to be taken. Getting him to eat a good meal has never been difficult because he has always been given varied options and now enjoys a mixed diet of the things his mother and myself eat. However, getting him to sit still to eat is a different matter. Sitting at our dining table just made him want to get down and eat on the hoof so we got a small table and chairs and made a big deal that it was special for him. Now he sits there, asking for his food and strays far less than previously.
Problem solved and a huge reduction in food debris you might think? Well actually only in part. As it happens, the other one is just starting to eat solid food as a supplement to his mother’s milk and is turning out to be a real force to be reckoned with. Seeing three other people around him tucking into food which not only looks appealing but also smells good appears to be too much to resist. Like his brother he fails to see the benefits of sitting in nice clean chair with a meal in front of him and the advantages of making most of it go down his throat in an orderly manner.
Experience now tells me, that slices of beetroot and a hand full of rice flying across the room are the first pointers to the displeasure of a sub-one year old strapped into a high chair. Next comes the arching of the back accompanied by wails, screams and the brushing of the tray contents onto the floor. Eject! Eject! Eject! Is the cry from the child as he tries in vain to escape his shackles which restrain him against his will. And as his captors, my wife and I have little choice other than release! Release Release! It’s the path of least resistance but it is our only real option. Resistance is futile and little positive is to come from keeping a child who doesn’t want to be strapped in, strapped in. And let’s be fair, he doesn't give a fuck about my needs in this scenario and that’s where I must go with the greater good. I must put my child's needs before my own.
Having a healthy child who loves his food is a rewarding experience. I can barely list half a dozen things Dylan won't eat and I think this is down to the fact that food has become a pleasurable experience for him. Tactile meals where he has been allowed to get in touch with his food, eat with his fingers and smear it on his face should he wish to, have contributed. Learning about textures, temperatures and feel with different parts of his body has allowed him to understand his food. And when the youngest of our duo comes along hell bent on a mission for the plate of food he has spotted, then indiscriminately launches his big hand of chunky sausage fingers onto whatever the contents are, spilling it everywhere, I have to take it like a man and accept the inevitable. There is a greater good. A young person with a good relationship with food is much more important than a strawberry stain on the carpet. And a nutritious meal eaten by a happy child beats pristine decor, hands down, every time, even if there a few scatter cushion and pastel painted dining room casualties along the way.